Call 911 - Everyone's OOC!
by Aim. Reach. Increase
Summary: When Drew Tanaka wakes up, she doesn't expect everyone in camp but her and Malcolm to be Out of Character! Written for StackOfStories's Cliche Challenge.


**A/N: Written for StackOfStories' Cliche Challenge. Also marks my return to the PJO fandom.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Percy Jackson, then Leo and Reyna would be together, Nico would have a happy ending FOR ONCE, and basically a lot of things would be different. But I don't own PJO, so I have to vent it by writing fanfics.**

* * *

**Call 911 - Everyone's OOC!**

Drew Tanaka woke up in the Aphrodite cabin, resisting the urge to yawn. She really was tired, but she had a strange feeling that something was out of place. She couldn't explain it.

As Drew got dressed in clothes that the author does not want to describe for fear of boring the readers and sounding too much like Tara Gilesbie, she figured that she was just being paranoid. There was nothing going on out of the ordinary. And considering that at camp, 'ordinary' was sword fighting, climbing up a wall with lava, and racing against wood nymphs, that was saying a lot.

Drew shook her head. She was just being silly. At least she hadn't told anyone, because Drew Tanaka was many things, but she was definitely not oversuspicious and she was definitely not a ditz.

But when Drew opened the door, something weird met her eyes.

Everyone looked...well...different. Drew frowned, wondering how scrawny Leo Valdez had suddenly got muscles, and how the Dumpster Queen actually got a fashion sense.

Drew picked her way through camp, looking for someone who wasn't different, and by chance stumbled upon Malcolm Sanders, from Cabin Six. "Hey, Drew," he said.

"Malcolm." He definitely wasn't the first person Drew would choose to hang out with, but as everyone else was acting really strange, she had no choice. "Have you noticed -"

"That everyone is out of character?" Malcolm suggested. Drew nodded. "_No, _Drew, I totally haven't noticed that Annabeth's life now revolves around clothes, make-up, and Percy Jackson."

Drew was quiet for a second, realizing his sarcasm. "Well, do you know how we stop it?" she asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"No idea," Malcolm admitted after a few seconds.

Drew stood there, stunned. "An Athena kid? Admitting that he doesn't know something?" She burst out laughing, but stopped when Rachel Dare walked up to them.

Or at least, Drew _thought_ it was Rachel Dare. The only way she could tell was because a lightbulb went off in her head saying 'this is Rachel!' If that happened, Drew wouldn't have recognized the Oracle of Delphi.

She had blonde hair. She was wearing very strange clothes. Her face was caked in makeup. And basically, she looked like your token cheerleader.

"Like, OMG, have you seen Percy?" she said in a weird, totes-not-Rachel voice.

"Like, he was totes over there," Drew said, pointing vaguely towards the Poseidon cabin.

"OMG, thank you, girl!" 'Rachel' said, before running off screaming "PERCY SHALL BE MINE! ANNABETH IS A [censored]."

"Maybe we should, totes, go to, like, the Big House?" Drew suggested.

"Don't talk like that, Drew," Malcolm ordered, shuddering. "And that's a good idea."

So they sprinted up from the cabins to the Big House. On their way up to the Big House, they ran into Nico.

"Hey, girl," he said, raising his arm to show off his muscles which were not there yesterday. "I'm super goth and Emo but you help me feel happy."

"Isn't Nico, like, thirteen?"

"Yeah," Drew replied. "And he's gay."

"Do we even know that? I mean, he hasn't come out in canon yet..." Malcolm pointed out.

Drew shrugged. "I'm a daughter of Aphrodite."

"Let's go with tha-" Malcolm stopped dead because he saw a ripple in the air. "What's that?"

Then, out of nowhere, the Author stepped out. No, not this story's author - the Author. She was dressed in a boring shirt and jeans, and her makeup was done wrong. Drew almost fainted - not at the fact that a 12.9 year old girl just stepped out of a ripple - the fact that she was wearing orange eyeshadow with a blue shirt. How horrible. It was a fashion faux pas.

"My Nico-Poo is not gay!" she shrieked. "He's just having a phase!"

Malcolm shook his head. "Wait, are you the writer of this story?" he asked.

"Yeah!" Drew said. "Is it your fault that everyone is Out of Character?"

The Author laughed. "OMG, they aren't Out of Character!"

Malcolm raised an eyebrow. "Sure."

He pulled a list out of his pocket and read it out loud.

_Rachel is not a [censored], and she doesn't dress or talk like that. Plus, she's over Percy, and she actually likes Annabeth._

_Nico is fourteen, and he's not goth or Emo. He is also canonically gay._

"What?" the Author said, confused.

Drew rolled her eyes. "Haven't you read the House of Hades?"

"Well, yeah. But I thought it was just a phase!"

_Jason has a personality._

_Piper is not a Sue._

_Leo is really scrawny to be honest._

"No, Leo is hot!" the Author protested. She was beginning to look weaker.

Something struck Malcolm, and he dropped his paper and whispered something to Drew. The Aphrodite girl's eyes widened, and she nodded. His idea made sense.

_Annabeth's life doesn't revolve around Percy._

_Thalia would never leave the Hunt._

"S-she would for N-nico!" the Author stuttered out.

_Artemis would never let Thalia leave the Hunt._

_Percy is not a mean jock._

_Piper is also not a [censored]._

_Ditto with Reyna._

At this, the Author exploded due to a massive intake of actual canon facts, which was convenient, as the writer of this fanfiction can't think of any more character misrepresentations.

It was just as Malcolm had predicted. The Author couldn't handle the truth about the characters. She had written so many bad fanfictions, that she had forgotten everything about the canonical personalities of the demigods.

So the truth made her spontaneously combust.

(Drew and Malcolm had been lucky. The Author hadn't written any fics about them, so they were safe in their canonical personalities.)

After the Author exploded, everything went back to normal.

Rachel returned to paint-stained jeans and being friends with Annabeth.

Annabeth forgot about fashion and returned to her architectural blueprints for the Temple of Hestia that she was planning to build on Olympus.

Leo and Nico lost their muscles.

Percy became the sweet, oblivious demigod he'd always been.

Jason got his personality back.

Thalia rejoined the Hunt.

Piper also got her personality back.

Yes, everything was back to normal.

Or at least, back to normal until next time.

* * *

**A/N: I'm writing a sequel. That will be based on scenarios in fanfiction, eg. karaoke, reading the books, truth or dare, also starring Drew and Malcolm. And then a threequel (is that a word) starring Drew and Malcolm the awesome Mary Sue demon slayers. Not really, but it'll be fun to write.**


End file.
